Patience.

     

     Patience. It's a difficult thing to work on, but it makes everything easier in the long run. I'm patient in some ways and not in a lot of ways. When I'm patient I don't get bored easily. It also helps me to accept situations for what they are, without losing the knowledge that they will change. Impatience leads me to prayer and prayer leads me back to patience. Patience helps us to deal with all situations. It lets us be calm in our responses. It gives our hearts time to prepare to act in God's will and not our own.

     I spent last night working on patience. I sat outside for 2 hours waiting for a Thunderstorm. It didn't show. You could feel the air getting charged and the winds change. It cooled down and that wonderful rain smell came out to play. Still, nothing. I thought about being disappointed (I'm weird that way). Not worth it. I'm good until next one. I'll sit outside and wait another day. Some things are worth the wait. Some things are also worth not having. It's not up to us to determine what's best. I wanted to sit and watch a storm. That could have been a horrible thing. I can't plan out the details of this world. By the end of my watch it was too dark to see anymore. I'd sat and listened to music and read my dailies and then some of my favourite short stories. Definitely not a waste of my time.

     This generation has a tendency to move fast in all things. I have a different pace. It's more than a natural inclination and it's certainly not a coincidence (I hate that word - see His order instead). Not everyone is supposed to live at the same speed. When you try to keep pace with others you lose bits of yourself. You lose your uniqueness. You lose the way you see and respond to things. You lose the individuality which weaves people together, like in the body of the Church described in the Bible. Be patient with the things around you. Know the order of God. Know that He has plans for you. Work in the timing He has provided by being who He made you.

     Last night I worked on patience, today some of it was rewarded. My sister Sarah got engaged on March 12th and I've been waiting to hug her since then. Before then actually. I haven't seen her since February!  That's a long time for me. Today Sarah and Jeff were in town and I got to see them. Yay! I had to work hard at being patient with that wait, but it was worth it. I was so excited. They came to see me at work. They pulled a funny and asked for a different colour of milk (you have to hear my work lemonade story to understand). Hilarious. I was so hyper that I got teased the whole rest of my shift. I didn't mind. I focused on the minutes (at this point I was impatient, but entertaining) left until I could see 'em some more. Got to go enjoy my night. Later!

Romans 8:24
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?"

Psalm 37:7
"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him"

Romans 12:12
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Proverbs 16:32
"Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city."

Found while looking for more. Trading in a nomadic existence.

     We're Christians because we looked for more. There was an emptiness in our lives that nothing could fill. We tried stuffing ourselves full of the world. Nothing. Nothing but God. This morning I've been thinking about the emptiness in God's children. In those who don't know that they are God's children. In those who know, but don't feel as though they are God's children.

     There's a weightiness that has come into the world in this past year. There's this sadness. Some days it's worse then others. It feels like people are trying really hard to distract themselves, but when they can't they can't. I know it's a God thing because the weightiness is in everyone at the same times. When you let yourself see where the world is headed it can be scary, but we've looked for more, we've found it, and we have that to rely on. We go through hard times, but there's a hope that comes with our daily faith walk. We can recognize God's love. We can read it in His Word. We can dwell on it in the Spirit. They can't. They can't see what's in front of them. Sometimes it's an honest never having met God thing. Other times, as it was with me, there's a willful decision not to see. Either way, it's sad. Either way, these people are miserable. Sometimes, people go through my cash and I just get overwhelmed. I cry like a baby, then I pray like a warrior. Other times I'm glad. I know that God is using these situations, gently turning them from bad to His kind of good, and leading them back into His arms.

     Giving everything to God is scary. I needed constant lights in my choice to live for Him. He provided them. He provided the moments that led to my salvation, to my homecoming. I was a nomad, not necessarily in the physical (though I had some of that too), but fully in my heart. I was homeless. I never let myself belong anywhere or with anyone. Even now, six and a half years later, I still struggle with this daily. With the idea of being His. With recognizing that He's placed me where I am to be known and to know. I know that that's what these people are facing. There's a fear that comes with such vulnerability, but overcoming it is the only way we can hope to understand the amazing fullness of the love and of the life that our God, our Father, offers us.

     When we demonstrate God's strength in our struggles we show Him so clearly. His love comes across like a beacon. These people, these lost ones, are not looking for perfection in us. They're looking for it in Him. In Him through us. They need to know that we struggle, that faith is hard, and that it's a daily choice. They also need to know that we survive now only through knowing Christ. Not in any way in our own strength. They need to know the truth of our relationship with Him. They need to know that they can seek the truth for themselves. Show Him daily. I needed lights and now I want to be one. Always. For the lost. For Him. That we all may be found in Him.

Matthew 5:16
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

1 Timothy 6:12
"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called."

Psalm 27:1
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?"

Mr. Super Si

This is for Mr. Super Si. No longer a kid, but a teenager! I sit here now with him watching Eureka and wanted to speak about his awesomeness. He's a great person and an awesome nephew. Always has been. My little buddy Luigi has grown (his toddler years - head swaying cuteness). We're going onto www.thinkgeek.com to pick out a cool present later on! It's going to be fun! Plus, he already made a hilarious video 'Julian Smith' style, so I know he's going into the teen years in coolness. Happy Birthday Mr. Super Si!

Best fuzzy picture ever! Soon he'll have a real one. No. Please NO!

Him being Mr. Super Si while I airplane him!

Him today. 13. 13 & AWESOME!!!

I love you bud. You're going to kick thirteen out of the park. I say another play day is in order. The air bazooka is being brought. Wednesday. AM. Prepare yourself.

Service. Praise & Worship vs Our Mindsets (Constant battle. Winner: God!)

     Pastor Andria taught last night. I loved it. She had a lot of God stuff to share. She did so with surety and confidence and with some funny quips. It was a powerful message. It was about applying Pastor's message from last week, about arising and being called to higher levels, to praise and worship. How God's glory coming down, or us being pulled up, is a by-product of our praise and worship. Basically, it was about the heart of our faith walks. That means it was about attitudes and choices. It really fell in line with the direction the Church is going in. It was about gates and doors and just about different ways to transition.

     I loved learning about thanksgiving. About the struggle that comes with sacrificing for God. I loved that it led into praise and worship. She also talked about how it worked against the false humility that comes up against us. I love how services come together like that. The work described in entering the Tabernacle is tedious, but worth all. I like the verse that Pastor Andria dwelt on:

Leviticus 22:29
"When you sacrifice a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Lord, you shall sacrifice it so that you may be accepted."

--> God sees our hearts. We can't be surface Christians because that's not being a Christian at all! It's an all or nothing faith. It's hard work, but we were made for it. Like Pastor Andria said, this verse is in the middle of directions and regulations regarding the Tabernacle. They couldn't pretend. We can't pretend. No good works will come out of that, they'll be empty. We would be empty.

Psalm 100:3-5
"Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations."

--> I liked the way this was brought up too. We can only get closer to God by following directions, by being obedient. We get closer through thanksgiving and then further with praise. There is a defined path to God. There's a book that was written to help us pattern our life to move towards Him. Why would we have the Bible if not to work towards understanding truth?

     At the end of the service we listened to Jason Upton's 'Come Up Here' song. It was so powerful. There was a line in it that cemented the service in my head. It's so silly, but it was the idea of wanting to fly like an eagle through the doorway in the sky. I just started thinking about it during the song and the songs that played afterwards, praying about it really. The thing is, there is no longer a past to go back to. The only thing I think of when thinking about turning away from God (Ew... I don't even like writing that) is that it would be death. It would be. Here's the thing about eagles, about birds really, if they stopped flying mid-air they would fall and they would die. We can't land safely after deciding to live for God. We're in the air and there's no good way down from that, only death. If we're walking along thinking why believe and stand for God, we're already losing the desire to live for Him. At that point, we're falling towards the ground. The wings would be useless, because flying is only for those after God. It's a use them or lose them type of situation, which is true of many gifts we are given by God. We have to make the choice to live for Him daily to keep a level flight, but we were meant for more. We're supposed to test the boundaries we put on our walks, our flights. We're supposed to want to go up. Through the doorways in the sky. To new and ever-increasing levels of faith. We're supposed to work towards God. Not with our timing, but His.

     The other thing that it made me think about was the natural inclination of things. Pastor Andria mentioned Myles Munroe's (I think that's how it's spelled) thoughts about how a fish swimming is glorifying God by doing what it's supposed to do joyfully. The obedience necessary to do this in our own lives was a good hit. I liked it. Anyways, all that to say flying is natural to eagles. Glorifying God is natural to us. Sure, sin came in and screwed things up. We broke away in the Garden, but we've been redeemed. The whole Bible is about Jesus laying down His life so that we could have the OPTION of living for God. Scary big things. There's no choice left in it for me. I will live for Him. Again with the tangents. We were created by God for God. Our whole lives are about deciding to exalt Him. It's not as scary to give Him everything when we recognize that we're doing what we were created to do. Yes, the world has a different idea about what life is about, really about how much they can take from the time they have on the Earth, but that's not the real way to go. We were all meant for more. The truth is coming. I know this. We need to stand for it in the meantime. We are the light and salt. We need to represent Christ (funny voice... you better say that in a funny voice... right now... out loud... hint: LOUD)!

Isaiah 40:31
"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

--> His timing. His strength. His glory. He's worth it.

Anyways, off to get ready for my day at No Frills :P

Coming Soon (at like 8pm): Mr. Si shout out!

Service Tidbits. Positioning Humility. MIGHT!

    I just got back from the morning service. Pastor Peter's message was great. Lots of things were lining up and good things were happening. I definitely can't talk about it all right now, I've got to put some studying time in and read the passages he mentioned in their entirety, but I did want to write one thing down.

    Towards the end of the service, the issue of humility came up and it definition always brings to my mind a fine line. It's a difficult thing to know, to tread, and basically to apply humility to our walk. He mentioned that humility in our hearts puts us in position (all about positions) to know Christ and to go after wisdom like we've been studying in Proverbs 2. Then he said something really cool. He said that as soon as we move that humility to our minds we lose it. I think thats so true.

     When we try to bring humility and its gifts of wisdom and knowledge to our minds, we face great risks. Humility is always only a stone's throw from pride, and as Pastor often reminds us, false humility is nothing but pride. Purely, and at the same time not pure at all, pride. Pride goes after those gifts we receive in humility. Wisdom and knowledge can easily turn. We can fall back to thinking about how much we know and not what has merely been revealed to us. That's when a hunger for knowledge for knowledge's sake is built in us. We're called to be hungry for the knowledge from and of the things of God. Nothing else leads to wisdom. It can't. You could be in the horrible position of thinking you know everything, when in reality you know nothing of worth. This is something I struggle with. There's so much I want to know about and do, but I really have to pull back and ask God to focus my path. What would be the point of learning something that I wouldn't put back into the things of God. Like when we store up too many earthly things, the end of our lives would show nothing but pointless quests for empty wisdom, earthly knowledge, and really, for intellectual bragging rights. Triviality. We need more than that. We can't be built up by anything without Him being active in our choices.

     Our belief system, our faith walks, need to be positioned evenly. We need to know the truth of God by recognizing it in our heart, in our soul, and in our mind. That's how we recognize its fullness, His fullness. They work in tandem, they have to, or we'll fail and fall (like on that faith bicycle). We need to step it up. We need to focus. We need to get in the right position. To do that we need to seek the things of God. We need to ask. We need to pray. We need to praise. Then, we need to work. We need to work harder then we have ever worked before. For our faith. For the people around us. For the Kingdom. There is nothing of greater value, actually there is nothing of value at all, to be had without making this choice. Live for Him today. Chose to live for Him EVERY SINGLE DAY. Declare it, or it's worthless. Be all or nothing for Christ. Be wholly for Him. Love Him as we are called to:

Matthew 22:37
"And He said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.'"

--> Wow. Do you know what's the craziest part of this verse? He loves us the same way. The entire Bible is Him loving us! With everything good. God is everything good.

Deuteronomy 6:5
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

--> I love this verse. I love that it includes might. I love that the word might isn't maybe (the way we use it today). It means everything. With strength. We choose Him. We fight against our flesh and we choose Him. There are no maybes in such a decision. It's a declaration. With absolutely every stitch of ourselves that we can gather together, we push aside our muck and out our junk, and love God. We live for Him. We live not for a dying world, but for Him.

Chuck Season 4 (epic-ly awesome) Finale!

So, I'm crazy. I am. It's a factoid for you. I love movies and television shows and such, but I'm not really one for current series. It's a crazy person thing. I'm the kind of person who reads the end of the book first, otherwise I can't enjoy it at all. I go crazy thinking about all of the possibilities. I also do this with movies and shows. In an effort to not let myself dwell on things that aren't important, I watch old shows and only watch current shows with 1-3 episode arcs max. You know the type, general ones, good, but not emotionally draining. Chuck is the exception to my rule. It's about a nerd thrust into the world of spies. How could I not love that? It has the essence of 'North By Northwest' and it geek-quotes Star Wars (The Imperial March was in the second last episode! THE IMPERIAL MARCH!), classic video games (Zorg and so many more), The Princess Bride (IN THE SEASON FINALE!), Superman (They had an actor who played him. Er. Shaw... I love you as Superman), Batman (Best Cute-Meet ever - Vicky Vale rap), Star Trek (Robert Duncan McNeill directs it, Scott Bakula's in it, and so many more), Tron (POSTER OF AWESOMENESS and MUSIC), Matrix (What do you know?), War Games (Castle and his Dad), Knight Rider (I don't know why it feels like it in the finale... there's no overt references... I think it's the driving into a truck thing), Lord of the Rings (The One Remote Control that rules them all), and basically anything I find awesome. Huey Lewis songs! Scott Bakula from 'Quantum Leap' (LOVE IT!) is his Dad! Come on! It's epic! I love it too much. I don't sleep when I don't know what's coming. As a defense against this level of insanity, I don't watch it while it airs. I watch it in batches. Safely. Me and Jenn have been watching it with B since I got here. It's been fun times, full of shenanigans. Today we, plus Nieceamine, watched the last two episodes! Amazing! Best Ever! LOVE IT! I wore a Chuck shirt. I got Nieceamine to wear another of my Chuck shirts. I even got Jenn to wear yet another of my Chuck shirts. Suffice it to say, I own way too many Chuck shirts. Jenn admitted that she hadn't worn a tee with a boy on it since her tween years. Impressed I was with her (hehehe... Yoda speak)! Anyways... all that to say I love the show. I would recommend it to non-kids (it's got some if-y things). But, be cool, start it from the first season like a sane person. I could watch it everyday. Anyways... here's to awesomeness:

Off to finish watching 'The Goonies' so I can sleep and be rested for Church! Go be awesome!

Fractals are my Favourites! Explanation Time.

Fractals. My God connector word. I thought I'd finally share how I got so hooked on it. I was 17. I found the word in the months leading up to my Salvation. I was in Math class when Mrs. Rayner brought out these creepy 60's posters. I hated them. Then, she explained how fractals work. I knew God existed. I always had. The definition of fractals made me yearn to apply it to my life. It got me thinking. It made me want to live for such a God that would detail our lives. It was one of the ways I saw His love. I don't understand the full out mathematical principles behind fractals, but I get the general picture. He has imprinted it on my heart. Its definition is a tool that I use - I put towards understanding the things of God. I apply it. So here it is. It's the kid's definition - told you I didn't understand the specifics - plus I want it to be clear:

"Fractal: An irregular shape that looks the same at any scale on which it is examined"
Mirriam-Webster Online Dictionary: http://www.wordcentral.com/cgi-bin/student?book=Student&va=fractal

See. Not so hard to get. What it really means to me is order. It just makes sense. I like only the natural fractals, so I'll use them to explain fractals further. First though, I'll give you the 17 of the ones found in nature, because there are lots of different kinds to love: Sea Shells (fun memories to collect on walks), Snow Flakes (love 'em), Lightning (actually awesome), Romanescu (weird looking), Ferns (I have a New Zealand based love of them), Queen Anne's Lace (pretty), Broccoli (ew), Peacocks (they creep me out), Pineapple (tasty and delicious), Clouds (pretty), Crystals (hello diamonds), Mountain Ranges (I want to see more of them), Trees and Leaves (I love them, especially in the fall), Shorelines (of the whole world - perfect order), Rivers and Fjords (the power and sound of the current; amazingness), Sea Urchins and Sea Stars (I love anything star related - dork dork), and finally, Stalagmites and Stalactites (scary looking, but cool nevertheless)...
Website (warning: haven't looked at anything else of theirs):
http://webecoist.com/2008/09/07/17-amazing-examples-of-fractals-in-nature/
...So, all of these things look chaotic up close. They are different, they look unique. Then there's a fractal pull-back (I talk about the pull-back a lot) and then all of a sudden BEHOLD, there's a pattern. A grand scheme. God's plan. It like one of those pointillism drawings - you can't see the picture until you step back to a further position. We can do this in life. We'll never be able to see the fullness of God's plan, it's sheer detail would no doubt kill us, but we can let ourselves see the plan He has for our lives. There is one. We can see it easily in our pasts: in how we've come to this present time, how we've become who we are, and generally just in all of the ways God has intricately worked in our lives. Why then do we doubt Him in the present? I know He's held me up in the past, just like in that Footprints prayer He's carried me through seasons of my life. Why not now? Why can't we claim His love in all times? We need to work. We need to know that He's for us. That He wants the best for us and from us. Faith is a two-way street. His love is constant, but we need to be in the right place for it.

Those natural fractals are interesting, but I think there are so many more than these. Ones that we haven't, that we may never, discover. I think that waves are ordered like fractals. Wind too. I think the real reason I love them is because I can see them everywhere. His perfect order. I lost the word fractal for years afterwards. I remembered the concept, but wasn't applying it to my faith walk. I missed out. It really bothered me that I couldn't think of it. That I couldn't see either the details in the big picture or the big picture in and amongst the details. I can't explain the joy I felt when it suddenly leaped off the page of a book I was reading. I stopped caring about the book. I think I dropped it in my haste to get to a computer. That's when God started hitting it home for me. His plans for us. There are two equally horrible ways to approach the plans of God. Both are aforementioned. We as believers can get caught up or lost in either the details or the big picture. We need to find a middle ground on which to see clearly the situations we face. Fractals show the connection between them. It's how I change my viewpoint. I toggle (funny word) between them. It helps me to keep a healthy perspective.

There's more. See, I refer to fractals so often that I can over-talk about them, but in the end, it'll help you understand where I'm coming from in different things. Otherwise, I just sound nutty, although to be honest, sometimes I am just nutty. It's an odd duck thing. Moving along (merrily merrily... oh dear, the hyperness), since I've moved to Kingston fractals have been coming up more and more. In almost every service, I write it down somewhere, and it's just become a part of how I read the Bible. My sister really pushed it home one night. She was speaking to the crazy ones (whahaha) about God's plans for us. As she delved into scripture I just kept going back to the word strategic. His plans for us are strategic. They are innumerable and immensely detailed. Complicated to us and order to Him. His order. Seeing fractally (note: that's not a real way to use the word, it's just a Lisa way) yet? If not, wait for it! He sees more than us. Comparatively, we see very little. Sometimes, we even deliberately try to see little. He gives us glimpses of His plans though. Some of the glimpses I've gotten are written in this very blog. I really like how the glimpses we get always line up - that's just another view of His order. Anyways, Jenn was talking about how God plans things out perfectly (hear that? I always try to go a-fixing and hurt only myself). The verse she brought up that cemented things for me was this:

Deuteronomy 7:22
"The Lord your God will clear away these nations before you little by little; you will not be able to put an end to them quickly, for the wild beasts would grow too numerous for you."

--> God's plans are big. They are strategic. He works little by little. He intersects everything on the Earth. We get impatient, but His timing brings so much more. I feel like the wild beasts growing too numerous for us are the details that come up against us. We need to let Him take care of things. To find peace in Him.

Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

--> Peace cannot be found in the world. It's not for the world, it's for those who've decided to be set apart from the world through Jesus.

Habukkuk 2:3
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay."

--> His timing in everything and in every season!

2 Peter 3:9
"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."

--> He is so patient with us. First in the slow steady way He brings us to our Salvation and then as He deals with all of our junk. The stuff that we've brought with us to Him. He is patient. He is loving. He is worthy of our trust. We can trust in the plans He has for us. And so, we can also trust in His timing.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end."

Fractal Pics - Trees & Leaves (I wish I had a stars or snowflake shot)