Okay...

So you know those stories told about how when you open a birdcage the bird stays inside because thats what it's known. That's pretty much my past year. I've been growing and such, but still just looking at that open door. Unwilling to step out. Well, a lot of growing and healing and growing and growing and growing has happened and is happening. A lot things have been broken off and a lot of things have been added to. I've been changed. Everyday. My dreams are growing - slowly but surely. I've been saying more than I could before. Even writing this, and writing about other things, has helped me. I've been moving away from guarded and into more open waters - clearer ones. For the past week, I've felt like I can finally breathe because my past is powerless. Actually not just my past - the past itself. My family's past and my non-Christian one wiped clean. A lot of things. Tonight when we went forward at Church it was about breaking out of my cage. It's time. The door has been open for so long, but now, it's time. No going back - I'm closing it behind me, or rather, He's closing it for me - firmly. Who knows what's ahead but God? Obedience in Him is freeing though - He wanted me out; I wanted to stay in - I wanted to keep small, I wanted the familiar, I wanted to be wrapped in fear, I wanted to be nothing; He still wanted me out. It was a long battle against myself for Him. I'm glad I lost. I'm glad I'll find my future in Him and not in a cage of my making. New things.