Small Spaces vs Bigger Places & Moments

     As I've mentioned before, my parents are moving into a condo. The house that they've lived in for 14 years, and me for 13 years, has been sold. Went down to help them out a bit. Didn't have much to do at all. Still, some things caught me off guard. Not a particle of my things remained. My room was clear and re-painted. It was so empty that when I coughed before I went to sleep it echoed. Crazy. It was weird. I know that the common phrase is that things look smaller when you go back to them, when you're older, but some things were bigger to me. The kitchen dwarfed me in its emptiness. I couldn't turn out some of the lights in the basement, because I wasn't tall enough. I had to ask tall people to step in - I felt like I was 3. My room felt bigger. Everyone felt smaller though. Not that anyone was - these are the people in my life. I can't really explain it - it was like everything was condensed. That's probably not going to make sense. Sorry. Still. Either way, the people fit, but the place didn't. I don't think it ever did. I hated the house since the first time I set foot in it. I was upset that they bought it. I spent some time this week determining if there was a place or a part of it that I liked. There wasn't. It's a beautiful house. It's not a beautiful home. That's what I set my foot towards in that first entry step. My home is found in God. It took a lot of mistakes before I could claim that. Houses fail. People fail. Our dreams, our plans, fail. His don't ever fail. Ever. I fit wholly only in His presence. Only when I'm existing in His presence. 

     Moments was another thing I struggled with this week. I'm not an event person, I'm a consistent one. I like moments with people. I blame my sisters. I got to know Nenners slowly while she tutored me in French and shared books and book conversations with me. I got to know Seb by being around her, watching movies, and sharing funny times and stories. I think it was Tate that made me a moments person though. I was in University when I started spending time with her. She was on mat leave and would pick me up to do errands with her. No matter what we had to do or where we had to go she would take exactly 3 hours. Hilarious. I like knowing that I got to know her during ordinary errands. Either way, my sisters showed me that relationships aren't built on events and only fun things; They have them, but they're not supposed to be built on them. Time. Patience. Knowing the person and not the front. That's what I go for with everyone now. It's hard. It's takes a lot of effort, time, strength, and love. It's so much easier to pretend to know people, but that's not caring for them. It's not even caring about them. It's about self. It's not the right way. Don't be a people pleaser, that's about living with a front. Drop it. Don't go along to go along. Don't throw people to the curb. Know them, then love them with the Holy Spirit glasses on. See the good and the bad clearly. Truthfully. Be responsible with those truths. I struggled with moments this weekend because I miss moments with the people here. I miss everyone here, but I miss the moments most. I miss unscheduled time. I miss the cores of my family and friends. 

This was my last time in the house. Weird.

Here are my Ottawa Kidlets:

 NOUGAT:

LEE JUNIOR:

FRANNIE:

The Trip Mash-up: