Seared & Sealed.

     It's late and I'm totally still in a processing mode, so this'll take so time. Okay so yesterday was crazy insane amounts of awesome, but it was definitely the prequel to many bigger and better sequels. That's what prayer does though. Ahhh... thoughts cycling. Okay - this was such a build on the Katie Souza conference. Pastor spoke about the Glory power - dodamus (no clue on the spelling - I couldn't search out the greek word - I was too far off) - that the conference centered on, but added with how that translates to the usage of it with kratose (again... horrible spelling and search-abilities) power. I can't go into it deep - I have too much else to say, but just watch the service - because it's a game changer.

Here's the service:

3dwc on livestream.com. Broadcast Live Free

... and here are two of the powerful verses that were drawn on:

Ephesians 1:18-19
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, and what is the surpassing greatness of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might."

Ephesians 6:10
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might."

     Okay - I'm so stubborn. This is about what I didn't let myself receive yesterday, and also about why. I'd been dealing with different things for the past little while, trying to line up what has happened and find the root causes of the different struggles I face. It was weird, I knew I had rooted out the things I'd been the cause of - the stuff I was personally responsible for picking up. Those things had been pulled out at the soul healing conference, but it just made my other issues clearer. I really spent yesterday just struggling - it was so powerful and I drew on a lot, but insecurities were coming up at every turn. It was painful and I couldn't find the root of it. I don't remember not struggling with worth and value and love and basically any and all good things. Then my mind cleared. Years ago, Nenners was told about this Norwegian (part of our ancestry!) generational curse called 'janteloven' or 'jante law'. She shared it with my other sisters and I, because she knew it was something that had been spoken over all of us and over every member of our family. It explains a lot. They're 10 disturbing rules to make people even and equal, but really they're about destroying. About killing off anything good. About stripping people of their worth and lifeblood. About making them untouchable - putting them outside of a place where they would try to reach people, even further outside where they would try to reach God. Basically - they use opposites to cancel each other out. They make both love and hate unacceptable, they make you fear both failure and success, and in each and every way make sure to leave you with nothing. You survive in them, but you can't live in them... no one could... they take that away from you. They're horrible things to have unspoken and spoken over you daily... and with them, it's always daily:

01. You shall not think that you are special.
02. You shall not think that you are of the same standing as us.
03. You shall not think that you are smarter than us.
04. Don’t fancy yourself as being better than us.
05. You shall not think that you know more than us.
06. You shall not think that you are more important than us.
07. You shall not think that you are good at anything.
08. You shall not laugh at us.
09. You shall not think that anyone cares about you.
10. You shall not think that you can teach us anything.

     They're so sad, but more than that - they're ridiculously dangerous. When Nenners first told me about the law, I looked them up often, to remind myself not to fall into this trap of the enemy. I would try to reverse them, or find biblical truths that completely diminish them. Somewhere along the line, I let that slip and though they've been bookmarked on my computer for years, I rarely look at them. I avoid them. They are my struggle. They are the generational thorn in my soul. They are the sayings that I let attack me. They are what I'm comfortable hearing - they are the lies that I've let appear as truths. Today was the day I put them down. I was clearly and purposefully led to the torment of them today. God brought me to that place, to that pain. He brought it forth, and then He brought it out! During the first altar call (it was a big night), Pastor prayed about oil being poured over us. It was powerful and it was so hot. Like searingly hot. It felt like a seal. A seal on my life. A removal of so much of what I thought was my burden. It took away so much of what I blamed myself for, because I blamed myself for it all. I blamed myself for everything. I survived instead of living, but I know that that is done. Finished. Rooted out and sealed by God.

     You know what He told me about them later? That I don't even have to try to fight against them anymore - that they are powerless. Those words that so dictated my life are now dust. That yesterday I gave over control, and that today He could complete the deep work that He's been waiting all of my life to do. He also reminded me once again that I am a daughter of The King and a co-heir with Christ.

Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

--> I love this verse. It fits so well with putting on the armour of God. I will guard my heart and my mind; I will guard my soul. I took up that responsibility on the day of my salvation, to stay pure for Him. In every step I take towards Him, He gives me something new and wondrous to protect and to defend. He heals and mends. He never wounds. I am whole in Him. I can move forward in that. God is great.