Tunnel Stages. CHOICES. From Knowing to Acknowledgement.

April 18th, 2011 12:31 PM

Activated. Following the verse of the year by not always looking back. The service wasn't a regular one - it was a call to awaken. It was really amazing how it tied into to that good old tunnel vision (vision of, not eye/life problem). The verses in Philippians just speaks to what has been going on in my life and my ever present desire to turn back and hide. That would be a quick death in that tunnel. I'm glad I'm still here. Looking back though, with one hand on the plow (going forward), is definitely a sideways tunnel move - the one that's more dangerous. I was so excited when Pastor mentioned the plow - it was just like this alignment biblically backing what's been spiritually sweeping me away. I love that.

FACING FORWARD

Philippians 3:13-14
" Brethren, I could not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. "

FACING BACKWARDS

James 4:4
" Ye adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore would be a friend of the world maketh himself an enemy of God. "

FACING SIDEWAYS

Luke 9:62
" But Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. "

--> It's time to step out. I'm tired of slumbering and stumbling in my Christian walk. There is a time of being a infant in Christ, but now is the time to grow. To mature in Christ and to just step up! I don't know when or how or to what end purpose, but situations, challenges really, are going to be coming up against me. I will be tested and I have to put a lot aside. I have to leave my questions and my ideas of my future. I have to drop the idea of 'my' completely and instead work in Him. Its a scary and a difficult choice, a weighty decision based on the foundation He has laid in my life. I'm at the point where even the idea of living apart from God is enough to me quake in my converses. I love Him and would be dead of everything if not for His hand in my life. I believe most people know that God exists - even when they fight hard against it. I don't remember a time before I knew God existed, the choice we make is not necessarily to acknowledge Him (of course that's important too), but to love Him and to live for Him. My salvation took a long time. I was pulled almost constantly towards Him, but I fought like a stubborn child all the way. Actually, I was a stubborn child the whole way. Then at 17 His love hit me and I knew that instead of Him just being around my whole life that He was loving me my whole life. Not a spectator, but a constant supporter, an active participant, trying desperately to provide a way for me to choose life. Nothing in the life I'd led before scared me more than love. Even the idea of love terrified me - the associations of vulnerability in it - the thought of being attacked. I was closed off to even the idea that God would or could know someone as insignificant as myself. The world was firm in me - I was worthless. I didn't know that His love builds. I didn't know love at all. He knew that because He knows me. He met me so many times growing up. He was there when I needed someone. He was right there beside me in the middle of the night when I finally spoke to Him - or rather when I finally asked Him to speak back. He woke up Pastor and gave him a different message for the next day. He hugged me when I gave Him my heart that day. He formulated every second of the plan of my salvation. He knows the end, He's outside time, but He still loves us and supports us. It's so beyond our understanding. No matter what though, there is no turning back for me. I can't go back to the world (scary), I can't be saved earlier, I can't change the decisions I've made, really I can't do anything except pray and live for Him now. To trust His plan and know that my past is just that - past. Its not erased, but forgiven and now it works only for Him. God's so amazing that way. He really does take all aspects of our lives before Him and turn them. He can remove our pains and heal us. He uses our weakness and our pasts to show His strength - What a plan!

Romans 8:28
"And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:31
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?"

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end."

2 Corinthians 12:9
"And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Break over - back to my crazy and rather unique cashier duties! Go No Frills!