New Year's Day 2011

New Year. New times. New movements in God. It's the year of transition. The service was amazing and so much struck and stuck. Pastor spoke on transition and the role it plays in moving towards revival. I know they prayed before service that everyone be given a vision from God. In praise and worship I was given one - one that I want to know and understand and live in. I don't even know if I can write it as it was. At first I was facing a wall - a wall between the world and I. It was a painful place, a barrier separating me, separating everyone, from the world. It was like I was suspended in water, wind, or a plasma-like material - but I could breathe. Still, it was a lonely place, full of sadness and a sense of failure - a failure to move, to be part of something, to change things. Then, as it always is with the things of God that I get, there was a pullback. Fractal - my favorite word and my viewpoint of pretty much everything ever. And in that zooming out- I saw that I was in a tunnel. And that in choosing to stand sideways I was causing myself pain and separation. The tunnel was God's purposes and I knew if I faced forward I would be swept away in His will. I would be out of control, but fully for Him. There were two other options - both were death, while He was and is life. You could try to turn back - face the wrong way - and be suffocated by the rush of the tunnel. Or you could do what I and others had chosen to do - you could turn sideways and give yourself the illusion of control. This latter option somehow is more dangerous - because, while you're still dying, it's a slow death - far more painful than it appears. Sideways, you face the world and it's painful because we can't reach it and sometimes we want to. Sideways we can also look back - reach for the pasts that we've been called to set aside. We can be pulled in different directions, when we're made to move one way - through Him. Pastor often called out 'Turn' in 2010, but I didn't get it, couldn't see it. I do now. I need to turn - to put myself in a position where I can transition. I want to face forwards and move. It is a time of transition and my goal of the year is to stay in it. To be ever-moving in His purposes.

Verse of 2011

Philippians 3:13-14
"Brethren, I could not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus"