March 6th, 2011 10:27 PM
Sunday Night Service. Crazy powerful times. Pastor hit on obedience and I really took it and just lit up with joy. I love knowing that what has shaken my spirit is confirmed to be from God. It's just this alignment where I feel close to God and know I'm living in His purposes. After service too, I was able to talk with Jenn about everything happening and there are so many visions happening at the Church, happening everywhere I'm certain, that line up and give this amazing picture of His glory. I love knowing that I'm in line with family and with this Church community. I love that these different visions can be knit together, that the Church is truly a body that works together. That different gifts are complimentary and so much more when used together for His purposes.
1 Corinthians 10: 4-7
"Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are diversities of ministrations, and the same Lord. And there are diversities of workings, but the same God, who worketh all things in all. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit to profit withal."
1 Corinthians 12:12-14
"For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of the body, being many, are one body; so also is Christ. For in one Spirit were we all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether bond or free; and were all made to drink of one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many."
I went into the service in joy and left with so much more - confirmation is so powerful and affirming. Pastor explained the different ways to work through disobedience and the door of hope that God has for us even when we are at our worst. Reading the book of Hosea in the light of obedience was powerful and seeing God's great love in it was astounding. We battled for ground in the service and I know we're taking it. Taking it in the steady way He has planned. The church is being built up and its people are being changed for Him, becoming steady in Him, if only to play a more active role in His strategic plan. Gifts that we didn't even know we needed are being thrown onto us. Paths have changed and people are stepping forward. Praise Him that carries us forth.
Hosea 2:6
"Therefore, behold, I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, that she shall not find her paths."
--> When we face the wall in our tunnels, the despair in our hearts, and when we hit rock bottom --> He can bring us out
Hosea 2:15
"And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope; and she shall make answer there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt."
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March 6th, 2011 3:43 PM
I've been thinking a lot lately about the past month or so. I've been off since I got back from Ottawa. I didn't expect leaving to be so hard. At Christmas it was so busy I just don't think it hit as hard, but this time I've really been struggling. I feel that I'm supposed to be in Kingston right now, but there's a lot I feel like I left behind. Family aside, what I missed but Ottawa was bad stuff - I missed the freedom there - financial, having a car pretty much all the time, choosing when to and when not to be social (not that that's ever been my strength), and just this comfortable fear. I was trapped there and I had lost and was losing everything. I've lost friends in the past few years - ones I thought I never would - and I think thats the root of the pain I'm feeling now. I let some people go for good and bad reasons, while others just drifted away. Some would have been worth fighting for, but I made choices in them. I'm not at home here yet - I have family that I love, but I feel unknown - that here I know no one and am not known, while in Ottawa, mess aside - I knew everyone and they knew me - again that comfortable pain. And it was painful; I have to keep seeing that without rose-colored glasses. I have changed - God has been working through many issues with me - I think the being known jump is mine to conquer, but it's difficult. As always, its something I both want and don't want. There's so much to feel in it, but I've been carrying the guilt of the world again - it's time for me to put down the past and move forward. Now. In the beginning of my 24th year. I don't want to pick things up that have been broken off anymore. I want to stand firm. I want live in the place I'm supposed to, be surrounded by those He's placed around me, and to be the person God created me to be.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end."
No Chains On Me
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