May 18th, 2011 9:43 PM
Baptism of God's love. That's what Pastor Peter preached about tonight. It was a hard hitting one. I had a hard time even sitting still enough to listen. I am so unwilling to accept love. I repulse from it. I try to distance myself from it. From everyone that mentions it. I have been broken. We all have. We can only understand real love, perfect love, from our relationship with God. By positioning ourselves to know Him. By reading His love letter to us, dwelling in that the Word. By reading about Jesus, who eclipses every word and moment of the Bible, by recognizing that this truth and love is meant for us. Pastor Peter hit things head on for me - I am willing to accept God's love for others, but not for myself. I do have a tendency to believe others would have to be loved more than me. I am unworthy. I understand God's love only in relationship to the worldly love I've faced. It should be the other way around. The true way. Well. I want to claim that love that He offers us. It's for me too. I have been so desirous of seeking God's truth, but so completely unwilling to accept His love. I had this word string in my head: First obedience, then the truth of God, then the love. This was my faith string of words - I declared it as the path I was on. I feel like I got stuck in it, but I've been getting pushed into the third level - I've been quietly (otherwise I would have run) being built up in God's love. I still want to run, but I'm choosing to stand firm in it. To stand firm in all God has to offer, not just the bits and pieces I choose to accept. To stand firm in Him, for Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment